The One with the 'Day Trip' to Plzen

17/18-10-2009

     Plzen is a town about 80 km  east of Prague and it is home to the Pilsner Urquell Brewery (which you can tour and try free samples! ) sounds like a great day trip from Prague to mee!!! It also sounded good to my friend Shannon, my flatmate Kelly, her brother who was visiitng from Hawaii, his friend from California and my other flatmate Nicole. So we decided to get up early and try for the 10 am bus, however we weren't really in a rush because according to Frommer's and The Lonely Planet buses leave to Plzen every 15 minutes. We met around 11am, and the next bus to Plzen wasn't until 2 !!! Bummer..So we were debating what to do.. it is about an hour and 20 minute bus ride, and the last tour of the brewery (the main purpose of the trip) leaves at 4...so long story short, we wouldn't make it.. we debated going another day...then said screw it, were here let's go, see if we make the tour and stay overnight if we have to... At this point Nicole bailed because she didn't feel good and we hadn't packed anything to stay over anyway. I don't blame her.. I don't like spending the night with no tooth brush and eye drops...and God forbid no blush but I sucked it up (and later I found some blush in my bag...yayyy :) )
   So we boarded the bus and were pretty excited for our trip....however as we approached Plzen- passed the Pilsner Brewery, crossed a river...., it kind of sunk in we had no map, no idea where we were staying and no idea where this bus was going to drop us off...so I was hesitant to get off the bus...but we did and we started walking back toward the city center we passed to find some infromation. The street we were on was full of Herna bars and Erotica Bars or Strip Clubs- picture the vegas strip, now replace flashing lights and naked girl signs with HERNA BAR signs....and EROTICA....so needless to say we hurried through that part of Plzen and stumbled upon an green info board. That had labeled on it an information center... we walked about 10 more minutes toward the info center and stumbled upon a MidEvil fair in teh middle of Namesty Republicky (the town square)... i swear I am not making this up, these weird fair things happen in Prague too...there were men laying on a bed of nails, music, fire breathers, and ridiculous costumes. We enjoyed a cup of hot whiskey wine....and moved onto the info center -and found it fairly easily. My friend Shannon and I walked in trying to find a map (in English mind you..) and the man behind the counter impatiently asked us "if we needed help, because he was closing in ten minutes" We said we were looking for a cheap hostel nearby, and for Brewey tour times tomorrow..whatever we said  or did, sparked his fancy and he warmed his smile and became our best friend. I immediately loved him because he was wearing an I <3 NY shirt. hahah, hilarious, and he said he liked American accents better than British accents...He brought out a book of hostels (an amazing perk of being in Europe- every city has hostels) He first directed us to one that was 400 czk/night each so $20, and we asked if they ahd anything cheaper...we looked and found one for 150 czk = $7 a night each...BINGO sold. He drew us  a map, called to make our reservation and we were on our way...being mildy hesitant about the cheap price I asked him if it was a decent hostel- his response " i dont know, I usually sleep at home...." so we had a laugh and set out. By now it was around 5 and starting to get dark, and we were starving, but figured we would find our hostel and check in before it got to dark, then go get some food.
   We walked mostly on major streets to get to our hostel, took only one wrong turn , quickly recovered and continued until it was time to make a left onto a side street that would lead us to the street our hostel was on...it looked kind of ghetto- pushed over trash cans, paved road turning into gravel, boxes on the side of the road, you get the picture....but we turned and then walked one block before we had to make a right onto our street....gets even more ghetto...as we turn we see a sign in white spray paint that says "HOSTEL" with an arrow under it...I kid you not...So at this point we all slow our pace and contemplate going further....do we turn back around and try to find another place, in a not so ghetto area, with a not so ghetto sign? or do we go in and check it out and hope we dont get stolen off the street and sold as human sex slaves in this ghetto tourist trap?
   We did the second one...We continued on...half way down the block was the sign  for the "RiverSide Hostel" and he word HOSTEL, was actually the word HOTEL with an "S" written in , in what I can only assume was black sharpie. We take a deep breath and go in.... Kelly's brother first then me with everyone else still hesitantly following... and hand the guy behind the counter our reservation stub - his response " i dont understand this price.." thinking he was trying to rip us off...I respond " we made reservations for that price, what rooms do you have available?" he replies " that price is to sleep outside in a tent"  and show sus on the pre-printed price sheet...so we believed him....we say "Ok what is the cheapest room you have inside please for 5 people?" He shows us to a room in the next building - 5 beds, a small bathroom, a broken TV, we take it, we are only sleeping there for one night no problem, so $12 later we are settled have a key and venture to dinner.
  I swear the street we were staying on is probably the shadiest in Plzen, I had thougths of being pulled into the trunk of a car or the back of a truck that was shadily parked our front...but The House of Blues was also on our street and a Gay/Lesbian bar....so that made it a little better.
  We walked for about an hour and a half before finding somewhere we thought looked good, we passe dup touristy places, and places where we could barely reads the menu...we walk in to seat ourselves (as is customary in Czech) and there are no tables available, we wait about ten minutes and do another lap around the restaurant..and find one in the back. We sit down and are quickly approached by a distraught waitress, she says in her best english that she believes the table is reserved and we can't sit there. She goes to check and comes back 2 minutes later, even more distraught than before to tell us the bad news that yes the table is reserved, however their sister restuarant is just acrosss the square and usually not as crowded as it is a smoking bar and this one is not. She even draws us a map and says "dut dut dut" as she dots the path we are to walk...precious.
  So we "dut dut dut" through the square only to find the sister restuarant (both named "The PUB"  - a Pilsner Unique Bar) is full as well. We settle for an "authentic czech restaurant" and the food was horrible, we were starving , hadnt eaten in 7 hours and we still thought the food was horrible!! eughh...so we start the trek home and pass a bar on our way that sounds like they have an American cover band..but they want a $5 cover, pass.... we approached another bar, that resembled somebodys brick house/kitchen in the front, and seriously contemplated going home rather than going to this weird bar, but there was no cover and 33 crown vodka tonics= sold!
    We went in and found our way to the back of the bar, downed some 33 czk vodka tonics (thast about $1.50) Eventually found our way to the dance floor - where it was a woman's- who had to be an ex strippers , 30 th bday who had a cake with pepperoni toppings? She was stripping guys on the dance floor...and was pretty much putting on a show for everyone, minus the pole. People grabbed the mic and sang Happy Birthday to her....and occassionally an American song from the 80's came on that everyoen would go crazy for ....Then "I love Rock and Roll came on" and I started singing near the DJ, he handed me the mic, and it was all down hill from there.... he handed me the mic during every single english song, and even every czech song- i insisted I didnt know any czech songs, but he didnt care LOL. Eventually we went home and passed out... around 4 AM i was awoken by a loud noise, some laughing arguing then a scream from upstairs. Then one person walked down the steps and out the front door- i re assured myself our door was locked ( we had triple checked before we went to bed) and swore that I would claim I hadnt heard anything if the polica came knocking for witnessses to the shady hostel murder....
  We awoke the next day to find no blood, no police , and nobody else had heard that during the night..
On to the Breweryyy!!! On our way we climbed the top of St. Bart's cathereral in the square- it is the highest tower in The Czech Republic- amazing views of Plzen and the surrounding country side. We began climbing around 11:50am, and as the clock struck 12, the bell began ringing- we were about half way up and couldnt turn around- let me say I will NEVER climb a bell tower with a bell ringing in it again- my ears were ringing for about an hour afterwards, but it was definatelely worth the view and the experience :)
 We were so excited for the tourof the brewery, we waited for an English tour and it was great!!! We took a Pilsner bus to the New Brew House, then a tour of the underground cellars, where they used to store the beer in barrels, they warned us to not get lost as there were 90 underground chambers- and they probably wouldnt find us...crazy. It was amazing, they showed us the grains and the hops they use- and we got to taste them in pure form, then the brewing process and the storing/bottling/shipping process.
 As we passed by the huge barrels the tour guide (who spoke broken English, it was adorbale, he got mad at himself for forgetting the word "brewhouse") said that a full sized man would have to climb inside the barrels to wash them through a 16x12 inch hole in the bottom...to which I instinctively blurted out " no wayyyy!" that is like the size of a regular cutting board, or a lap top, or a large notebook....impossible! He said I would have the chance to try it out later in the tour, and then kept referencing my comment with " you will see when you climb through the barrell opening" It was pretty funny to our group- maybe not to the other people in our English speaking group (about 8 touristy adults in their 40's)  but definately to us.
 And so came the point where I was to  prove him wrong......we approached the barrell (it had the bottom of the barrel part sliced off so you could climb through just the opening and come out the other side) , and I looked at the opening...and still thought no way my child bearing hips are making in through there!!!He said do it Superman style, so I stuck both arms out like I was flying and he pushed my one arm down and said like that- I was hesitant as I crouched in front of the opening no larger than a tabloid magazine and low and behold I was through it in .2 seconds!!! AMAZINGGGG, I guess now I now know  how to escape from submarine windows, if the need ever be. It was hilarious, I took off my coat and all to prepare for the struggle with the barrel and it was a piece of cake...My friend Shannon has pictures that I will have to get from her.
   So after the tour we sampled original barrel brewed unfiltered beer (not available anywhere but in the Brewery and in the Brewery Museum restaurant) and then ate in the museum restaurant to have some more authentic unfiltered barrel stored Pilsner- deliciousss :)

   We caught our bus back to Prague after 24 hours in Plzen..and let me tell you the shower I took when I got home definately rated top ten showers of my life! Cheersss!

Me at the top of St. Barts- absolutely worth the climb

Standing at our "HOSTEL" sign the next day...even in the daytime, it's creepy

Fire Breather at the Mid-Evil fair

Ringing Bell in St. Bart's

View of St. Barts and a gorgeous sky from the square in Plzen